I
have always thought that I have been a very conscious communicator
meaning I am very conscious about what I say, how I say it to others,
and how do I say it. My body language is equally very important to me
when I communicate with others. I try to always look from other's
point of view. This is what my husband thinks about me as well.
However, he pointed out to me that, although that is a good trait
that I have, somehow sometime it becomes my weakness as well. Why?
Because I tend to always want to please everybody by forgoing my own
opinions and thoughts. At first this comment from him, surprised me
but it got me thinking one day and I realized it is
true. Why do I even do it? Because I realized I want
to be liked by everyone. I also realized that I will get burned out
if I continue like. I should always be confident to voice out my
opinions and thoughts even if its the same as others. I am still
working on myself.
There was an incident in my son's preschool that happened this week. My son has a best friend and his name is S and his mom happens to be my best friend and her name is V. These two boys have been in preschool for 2 years so they know each other quite well. This year there was a new boy who joined the preschool and his name is M and his mom's name is J. S and M are spanish speakers so they have almost the same cultural and language background. S and M started having problems being friends from beginning of the school year. S have been sort of not letting M play with him and his other friends and this had affected M very badly. M's mom J and the teacher's had known about whats happening from that time however nobody told my friend, V about it until when it was mid-year. V was very sorry that S had caused so much hurt for M but at the same time she was upset that nobody told her anything although everyone knew about this. This is definitely big communication mishap. This is when I learnt that people should just open their mouth and say what they think , in a nice way of course then things will be less complicated.
I watched a video today and it is about a divorced mom with three kids who was going through turmoil in her life and how simple uplifting words of a therapist changed her life, gave her new hope and positive outlook about herself when she was hitting rockbottom. Please watch this at this link: Click here!
This
video had definately taught me that no matter what, always have a
positive word to say to people because you will never know how it
will change their life.
When I took the test and evaluated myself, I too was considered to value people' feelings, but I learned that this can interfere with building relationships, because I am too trusting. I too want others to like me but this made me mindful and I will keep this in mind when I am communicating with others. Great post!
ReplyDeleteHi Pushpa!
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading your post. I used to have a hard time speaking up for myself too. I have come to realize that it is imperative for my own health and well-being if I speak up for myself. It is ok to respectfully disagree with other people and we should not have to be afraid of hurting people's feelings or making them upset if we do not always agree with them. Every day is a learning experience for all of us. Just remember that you are important and your opinions are valuable.
Pushpa,
ReplyDeleteOur husbands have a way of seeing things a lot different than we do and that is a good thing to have someone the can talk to use about what we say to others is good or bad. Great video thanks for sharing.
Hi Pushpa,
ReplyDeleteI agree with you that body language is very important when communicating with others. If I am talking, and I notice that people are not listening or falling asleep, I stop talking. It is also vise versa, if others are talking, I may not be interested and began to do other things or fall asleep. Sometimes, I will walk out of the room or leave. I hate to be in a boring meeting or conference. We have to watch and look out for body language as part of being a great communicator. Great post!
Hello Pushpa.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you, always having a positive attitude or word toward people can go a long way. People would be surprised in a person’s behavior if someone communicated with them in a positive way instead of a negative way. I believe taking in other people’s feeling when communicating with them truly makes a differences.